she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
