Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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