who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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