Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
