remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
