Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize