I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
