walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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