I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm getting married
To pizza
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
