GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
