escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
