So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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