She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
