On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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