So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize