chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
