you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
