i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
