is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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