my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
