does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
