And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
