I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
