Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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