I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
