i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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