He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
