Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
