she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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