I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
