call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
