I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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