If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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