I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
