try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
