She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Your penis caused this!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize