How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
