went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
