is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
