nut hugger
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
