Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
