Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
