We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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