shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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