just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
