Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
