i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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