Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
