Kiss
Puke
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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