Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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