I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
