Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
