first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
