I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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