Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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