Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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