If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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