I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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