Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
