Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
