i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
