Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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