His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So much Jack, so little girl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
