After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
