if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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