Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize